I have been ever so unfortunate to never have experienced serious heartbreak, as it pertain to guys. A nick, once, perhaps a scrape. But no cry-myself-into-dehydration-while-eating-Chunky-Monkey-ice-cream-and-replaying-Mary-J.-
Blige's-I'm-Going- Down heartbreak. No RL-and- Deborah-Cox-We-Can't-Be-Friends
-Because-I'm-Still-In-Love-With-You heartbreak. No Waiting-to-Exhale-burn-any-
reminder-of-you-because-how-could-you-do-this-to-me-after-so-long heartbreak.
And it is because of this, that I have no deterrence from getting reinvolved with guys. See, much unlike the lucky girls who have once had their hearts shoved through a meatgrinder and then served to them raw on stale bread, I have no man-guards up. Besides my usual inability to fully open up, there is no all-men-are-dogs bitterness stored in me, there are no stay-away-because-I-refuse-to-be-hurt-again bars around me.
And it is because of this flaw in my life that I am traveling again down the path towards having a.. dare I say it.. boyfriend. Why does this keep happening to me?!
You see, I have always been pretty apathetic towards guys. I've never been boy crazy. I've never seen the major appeal in having a boyfriend. I find most guys in general to just not be of my caliber, and therefore, I remain unimpressed with the entire gender.
But somehow, some opportunist snake (first Jae, then Taqee, and now him) slithers through my shell of disinterest, and before you know it, much to my resistance, I am boyfriended.
I wish he would just leave me alone.
I'm bullshitting you. I actually like this kid a lot. Because:
Blige's-I'm-Going- Down heartbreak. No RL-and- Deborah-Cox-We-Can't-Be-Friends
-Because-I'm-Still-In-Love-With-You heartbreak. No Waiting-to-Exhale-burn-any-
reminder-of-you-because-how-could-you-do-this-to-me-after-so-long heartbreak.
And it is because of this, that I have no deterrence from getting reinvolved with guys. See, much unlike the lucky girls who have once had their hearts shoved through a meatgrinder and then served to them raw on stale bread, I have no man-guards up. Besides my usual inability to fully open up, there is no all-men-are-dogs bitterness stored in me, there are no stay-away-because-I-refuse-to-be-hurt-again bars around me.
And it is because of this flaw in my life that I am traveling again down the path towards having a.. dare I say it.. boyfriend. Why does this keep happening to me?!
You see, I have always been pretty apathetic towards guys. I've never been boy crazy. I've never seen the major appeal in having a boyfriend. I find most guys in general to just not be of my caliber, and therefore, I remain unimpressed with the entire gender.
But somehow, some opportunist snake (first Jae, then Taqee, and now him) slithers through my shell of disinterest, and before you know it, much to my resistance, I am boyfriended.
I wish he would just leave me alone.
I'm bullshitting you. I actually like this kid a lot. Because:
- He's 6'4", a little darker than me, and has dimples. (See Fiest.)
- He has goals, and is actively pursuing them.
- He challenges me, often.
- He's not close, and is not mutual friends with anyone in my circle. (Thus the ability to do my own thing, and have immense privacy.)
- He's been celibate for 2 years.
- He recognizes me as being the shit for reasons beyond the obvious. :)
Life sucks.
2 comments:
I really enjoyed reading this post. :]
I like it and I relate a little. I've never really felt deterred from becoming involved with guys either, and I have always really liked men for the most part. I think I'm been mostly unharmed because of lack of experience though lol.
Also, dude sounds delicious...that doesn't suck :]
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