Anytime I am happy, something happens to bring me back to the sad individual I am obviously destined to be. This entire weekend is the proof. But more on that later.
I'm trying to stop thinking about Brandon. Thinking about him makes me.. sad, and upset. I'm happy he's having such a great time, but I also feel like shit because he's having such a great time without me. And it's like, even when I am having an ok time, I always think about how much more fun I'd be having if Brandon was there. And I don't think he does. I just feel dispensable.. I feel like he got over us in like two days. And I'm still having a helluva a time coping. Euh.
My mom is a fraud. Liar. Fake. Full of shit. Got my hopes of an actual relationship all up, just to shit on them for the millionth time. Should've saw this coming. Should've saved my tears for something worth crying over. Should stop being so forgiving, so vulnerable to being hurt. By everyone.. Why does everyone have the ability to hurt me? Why? Why does everyone who know I'm hurt, hurting so much... insist on hurting me still? Why?
If I died tomorrow, I'd be upset. I can't imagine dying without the chance to live..
I want to leave school and go pursue my secret dream. But it requires money, of which I have not a lot. But I'm considering selling my soul to unnamed person so that I can get started. Is it worth it?
I wish my roommate would leave so I can cry, and clear my mind. I can't finish this without doing so..
I'm trying to stop thinking about Brandon. Thinking about him makes me.. sad, and upset. I'm happy he's having such a great time, but I also feel like shit because he's having such a great time without me. And it's like, even when I am having an ok time, I always think about how much more fun I'd be having if Brandon was there. And I don't think he does. I just feel dispensable.. I feel like he got over us in like two days. And I'm still having a helluva a time coping. Euh.
My mom is a fraud. Liar. Fake. Full of shit. Got my hopes of an actual relationship all up, just to shit on them for the millionth time. Should've saw this coming. Should've saved my tears for something worth crying over. Should stop being so forgiving, so vulnerable to being hurt. By everyone.. Why does everyone have the ability to hurt me? Why? Why does everyone who know I'm hurt, hurting so much... insist on hurting me still? Why?
If I died tomorrow, I'd be upset. I can't imagine dying without the chance to live..
I want to leave school and go pursue my secret dream. But it requires money, of which I have not a lot. But I'm considering selling my soul to unnamed person so that I can get started. Is it worth it?
I wish my roommate would leave so I can cry, and clear my mind. I can't finish this without doing so..
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