Healing

I, seemingly randomly, just had a miniature emotional explosion, of sorts. I was listening to Prelude to a Kiss by Alicia Keys, and every single word she said just.. struck me, like a blow to the face.

Around this time last year, I set out on a journey of sorts to really heal me. And thinking back on it, a year later, I don't see that much progress was made. In many aspects, I feel worst off. I'm more wounded now. I'm more guarded now. I feel like I made decisions, and put myself in situations that have done nothing but add to my hurt, or mistrust of others. And I regret that.

But I also regret trying to handle this on my own. I didn't get this way because of my own-doing, and chances are I'm not going to become whole again alone either. Fortunately, all of this has strengthened my relationship with God, and I have grown to depend on and trust Him more than ever. But I think He needs to send me an angel, just to help out a little.

Sometimes I feel
Like I don’t belong anywhere
And it’s gonna take so long
For me to get somewhere
Sometimes I feel
So heavy hearted
But I can’t explain
‘Cause I’m so guarded
But that’s a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bare
And it’s a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there
Can you send an angel?
Can you send me an angel?
Guide me